I just got back from a class with a senior Professor who was so anal about our spoken English during case presentations. He made it a point to correct even the subtlest of grammatical mistakes, making the class run longer than it should, much to the dismay of my friends who only signed up for the medicine and not additional English lessons.

I personally didn’t mind at all. I think what he did was wise as the use of good English is a crucial component in our professional development as competent future health professionals. (and the future ain’t that far either, we’re graduating in a month’s time kot!)

Now my English is obviously farrrrrr from perfect, but I sometimes do cringe in agony hearing people say things like “That’s mean” or “No any surgical scar..”.


This reminds me of a story when I presented an Orthopaedic long case the other day. Right after my history of presenting illness, this lecturer of mine asked,

Hidayu, which secondary school were you from?”

I hesitated in saying STF, because people generally won’t know what STF stands for unless they have a boarding school background or they live in JB. So to be safe I responded,

Err, Tun Fatimah?”

Oh sebab the way you speak English macam you’re from TKC.


I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Ok so I took that as a compliment for me, but just not for my school. Heheh. It is a well-known fact that TKC girls are generally very fluent in English. This generalization also includes a pseudo-fact that majority of their students came from rich, upper-class, English-speaking Malay families so it was only natural for them to have better English as compared to their other boarding school counterparts.

During my time in STF we rarely spoke in English, perhaps maybe just in English classes and to friends whom we’re used to speak in English with. It wasn’t as if we couldn’t, but I guess you might come across as, ummmmh, a lil pretentious to speak English in an all-Malay environment? Very, very bad mentality especially in a kononnya prestigious school, but that was the vibe that I got back in the days.

I didn’t come from an English-speaking family, but I was thankful that I befriended 3/4 of the school’s English debaters which meant I always had to keep up with their vast vocabularies. Phew, thanks guys. It was only in uni that I started speaking a lot of English, thanks to having re-discovered multiracial friendships.

In view of the school’s recent High-Performance status BS and excellent exam results, I just hope that the kids have started to speak in English among themselves. It may be a tad too late if English is only spoken formally during tertiary education because “That’s mean” has become such a norm that it doesn’t feel like an error anymore.

Get out of that stupid sempit shell of ours, and start seing the world as it should be. You don’t know how much you’re missing out, kiddos. Make it a point to speak in English as much as you can, watch English movies (without subtitles, please) and read English news/books/blogs for a change. (using a Facebook English medium doesn’t count ok).

And of course, this reminder goes out to me too. I’m on a journey of self-improvement myself, so please correct me if you ever hear me make silly grammatical mistakes! Screw embarassment. It’s better to be corrected now than when you’re presenting at a world-class conference later and be laughed at because of the poor standard of your English.

Sekian incoherent ramblings of the day. Teacher Mimi must be proud of me. Kih kih.

P/S : I recently found out that this lecturer who made the TKC remark is actually a Koleq boy. Saw him donning that familiar maroon tie last Wednesday, which explains the remark because all Koleq guys I know are dating/have dated or at least friends with a TKCian. Again, a generalization. LOL.


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Of Recent and Not-so-recent Events.

Besides the pain and peril I’m going through now that medical school is ending in merely a few weeks’ time, I should also share the fact that I’m helplessly smitten these days.

Last time I was all head over heels for a guy was probably 4-5 years ago, back when I was young and stupid, out fresh from boarding school. I fell for a prick, no less, and God I fell hard. Geez, I would probably still be with him now if only he had put in a lil more effort and if I didn’t play hard-to-get one time too many.

He was the typical middle-class Malay boy with a residential-school education whose life’s ambition is to earn good money through an engineering career, drive a big car, and would go on to marry a soft-spoken Malay girl in tudung, waiting hand and foot at home for him. And I was the loud, foul-mouthed woman with sky-high ambitions and no signs of slowing down. That probably challenged/scared him a lil bit too much, but I guess we were both way too young to figure it all out anyway.

And he didn't speak Ingerlund so well, so that kinda turned me off too. Heh heh.

To say I was heartbroken back then is an overstatement, because when we parted ways I was actually beginning to hate the person that he was becoming. Sure, I was mildly wounded for a while but he was definitely a lesson learned, and I thank God for that one encounter as it made me wiser (really?) in considering potential suitors.

How’s that for closure? Heh.

So now that I’m emotionally more stable *ehem*, and all matured with crystal clear goals and guided ambitions, I might’ve just opened up to a man who could possibly make me fall head over heels again.

Now he is the complete opposite of a man I’ve always thought I would be dating. He may even be a breath of fresh air, because he’s just so different in a lot of ways. He’s no softie, but he’s not the things that traditionally defines a man, you know – sports and cars and cock-talk and all the other shit that comes with it.

But what defines a man, really? What if he’s all manly but he didn’t actually have the guts to ask you out because he’s afraid that you’ll outsmart him and makes him feel like the lesser person in the relationship? What if he looks all rough and plays rugby (or other contact sports, please insert here) but he doesn’t give a shit when his woman just wants to be held because she’s had a rough day?

What if this macho man tells you he loves you, but behind your back he has his own set of Teman Tapi Mesra and he tells girls that he’s actually single? What if this ambitious man who had made a promise that he would make an honest woman out of you chickened out halfway just because he feels like it? I’d say, suck your balls, pegi mampus lah wey buat perempuan macam tu.

Wah bitter siot. Ini semua kisah benar, tak tipu punya.

So my point is, this guy is more of a man than most guys I know will ever be. At least he’s got the courage to try and pursue me. I’ve gotten way too many remarks over the years that guys were too intimidated to date me, so it’s nice to know that someone’s  growing out of his insecurities and is working his way slowly to my heart. Haha. Ayat cam haram ok.

Anyway, we’ve been good friends for years and he just knows me too well. In recent months he has made me happy in ways that I sometimes could not comprehend. You know, butterflies and all that jazz? Sometimes it scares the shit outta me too because it just feels so right and I can’t help but wonder if this is IT? And help me God I know this is corny gile babs, but I haven’t felt this happy for a long, long time.

I just hope he knows how he makes me feel, because I simply suck at showing it despite kononnya being a self-professed hopeless romantic. It had been ingrained since my earlier years that if I was being too expressive I would look easy. And weak, which is the last thing a hard-headed, hardcore professional woman would wanna portray herself as.

But hey, life is too short to be playing hard-to-get (again), and trust me I’m not. Maybe I’ve mellowed, too. Which isn’t a bad thing, to say the least.

Now it’s a bit premature to tell if he is the real deal, so I’m just going to cherish what we have for now and see where it will take us. I heard that some people are giving him a hard time, but it only matters what I think of him and I can safely say that I am proud of the man he’s becoming. 🙂

OK I can’t believe I actually spent like the last half an hour writing this piece of shit. I applaud you if you’ve actually read up till here, kih kih. Well I don’t usually put up my emotions on display, not in this blog anyway, but today is just one those days, y’know. Screw it.

And I hope he doesn't read this. -____-

Baiklah I need to study Obstetrics prontoooo. Bye2.

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Faizal Tahir.

I should just write this while I’m still very smitten. So here goes.


Haha ok cerita dulu, screamfest sambung kejap lagi.

So basically I was at Istana Budaya last night watching Konsert Satu Suara which featured Faizal Tahir, Aizat, and Malaysia’s favourite gadis-ayu-pemalu, Siti Nurhaliza. I managed to secure myself very good seats through Faizal’s fan club Rockensteiners which I am unashamedly a member of. Kih kih.

Anyhoots, the show started with Aizat and Faizal singing Aku Anak Malaysia. After that it was Aizat all the way, and damn that boy’s good! I was familiar with most of his repertoire so I got to sing along to most of em. Being a Beatles junkie that I am, I loved his Beatles tribute, especially I Am The Walrus. Way to go Aizat!

And then it was the moment I’ve been waiting for.


Like holey moley guacomoley finallyyyyyy after 3 years of being a fangirl I now get to see him perform live, like ohmygoddddddddddddddddddd takkkkkkkk.

I’ve had doubts about Faizal’s ability to shine vocally because he always seem to overdo it whenever he performs live. But yesterday he sounded SO GOOD. Seriously sedap gila. Perfect low-high note transition, and his tone, Subhanallah, it was just delicious. His God-given talent was just too good beyond words!

Stage presence takyah cakap la kan. He was very eloquent (spoke perfect English, too. Sukaaaaaa!) and funny although at times he came across as POYO, but what the hell I still love him. Har har har.

He rocked the house with the usual combo of Sampai Syurga, Cuba (pronounced as Kju-ba LOL), Gemuruh, Bencinta, Mahakarya Cinta,  and Selamat Malam, as well as a new song that I’ve never heard of. Faizal also did a tribute to his musical idol Queen and his rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody was just madddddd awesomeeeeeeeeee. I was happily singing along to it but it seems that only 1/10 of the audience je yang pernah dengar lagu tu. Ape korang ni, tak penah tengok American Idol ke at the very least? Ceh.

And then came Siti. I’m obviously not a fan of hers, but I do know some a lot of her songs ok. Didn’t know what to expect but DAMN THAT WOMAN WAS AMAZING.  Seriously. I got goosebumps yo. She totally deserved to be where she’s at right now because she’s just THAT good. Please please everyone insert Siti in your 10-musical-act-that-I-must-see-before-I-die list. Faizal Tahir pun jangan lupa letak ok..hehe.

Anyway the 3 of them joined forces for a medley of Rock Kapak (or rather Rock Sopan in Siti’s words) songs – the likes of Hattan’s Sekuntum Mawar Merah, Def-Gab-C’s Ibu Kota Cinta, Awie’s Sejati & Ratuku, and my fav Spider’s Relaku Pujuk. Relaku Pujuk was injected with some serious reggae beat so it was fun fun fun! Aizat’s constant “come on everybody” so cracked me up!

Oh lupa plak. I also lovedddd Faizal and Aizat’s rendition of Bon Jovi’s Always. Farah and I were singing along siap dengan expression beriya2 as if we’re in Redbox Karaoke LOL. Always had always been one of our lagu wajib anyway..and isn’t it just the perfect song for another pathetic Valentines? 😛

Ok letih dah screamfest. Kawan-kawan, please bear with me cos I’ll be raving about how good Faizal is for at least a coupla weeks. Heheh. Ok bye. Nak dengar Faizal’s Selamat Malam before kip lah.

“Kanku menjadi Arjuna dalam mimpi-mimpimu” – tell me siapa tak cair if a guy sings this to you weh? Angauuuuuu. ♥

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I’d Do It All Again.

Just cause I’m feeling pretty mellow. Corinne Bailey Rae is amazing.

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Because L is for the way you look at me.

There’s just so much love in the air, I couldn’t resist.

My babe Munie got married yesterday and I am super happy for her! To have found a person you’re confident enough to live a lifetime with, that’s really something. To Munie, sorry we couldn’t give you the kickass hen night you deserve due to some unforeseen circumstances that took place. But those times we spent prior to the wedding were priceless and I sure hope you can be there when I find my happy ending too. 🙂

Oh did I mention that I love the wedding? She looked super radiant and so pretty like I’ve never seen her! Munie’s dress was to-die-for and the hantarans pun cantik gila. Us bridesmaids got to dress up in pink too!

But in general, I just loveeee weddings. OK fine, it’s  a bit unhealthy for a single gal like me who’s supposed to be all bitter and whatnot with girlfriends getting married left, right and center. But it celebrates love and all things corny so what’s not to like kan? Haha. Silly.

I am honest to God happy that my girlfriends have found love, and in time, I too, hope that I will find a person who will complement me and love me for the things that I am. Yes, the weeper, the hopeless romantic and the kiasu me. All of it.

Ahhhh all these talk is so overwhelming weh.

Congratulations again to Munie and Matde! Quoting a wise friend, marriage is a gamble anyways so just suck it up and make the best out of it!

P/S : Wedding present later ok. Pitih takdok.

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While I’ve been busying myself with all things worldly and insignificant, a dear friend went through the hardest thing a person could ever go through.

She lost her dad to the C word.

I was taken aback when I first received her text. Uncle was supposed to be fine albeit already having some complications of the disease and I was all geared up to visit him next week. God clearly had better plans when He decided  to pull the plug much earlier than his doctors had predicted.

I can’t even begin to imagine what my dear friend is going through during this hard, difficult time. Being the master weeper that I am, I had tears trickling down when I broke the news to our mutual comrades. Tears are even swelling up as I write this, but I know it can never compare to the heartache that she must be experiencing right now.

Uncle as I remember was an overall nice guy. A competent professional with a towering personality and I dare say, the most humble, down-to-earth person I’ve ever met in my life. He led a simple life, always putting others first before his own needs, be it his family or his patients. I’ve heard stories after stories on how he struggled during his earlier years of conversion to Islam, of how he excelled through medical school with very limited funds and ultimately his journey to become the high-flying, great person that he was throughout his lifetime.

Probably my most favourite story of him was of a certain “Buku 555”. During his times of financial hardship years back, he took the effort to write down the names of everyone he ever borrowed money from as well as the amount of debt in that little book. He was determined to pay everyone back once he started earning his own salary. And true to his words, he paid in full to each and everyone that he was indebted to, even if it was just a few Ringgit. Him and his saintly ways are living proof that good, kind Samaritans still exist in this cold hard World.

It was a known fact among our colleagues that my dear friend had always talked  so fondly of her Papa. Papa this, Papa that. Yes, I think most of us might have envied her at some point for having such a wonderful person around as a dad. He was truly an inspiration, and he will be dearly missed by all of us. As for me, I will always have that image of him giving her (rather heavy) baby brother a piggyback ride up the stairs during our stay at her place 2 years ago. Good times, those were.

So my dear friend, grief all you want and come back stronger than ever. The upcoming few months will be tough, and not having Papa around will make things a notch harder than it already is.

But we are here for you.

I am here for you.

I will do whatever it takes to make sure we win this rat race together, and you shall make Papa proud of the woman that you are and you will be. Allah works in mysterious ways, so let us all pray that there will be a silver lining to this big dark cloud.

I love you.

Tribute for Allahyarham Dr. Mohd Arif Kor Abdullah. 1961 -2009.

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Definitely, maybe.

When in doubt, watch Definitely, Maybe (for the umpteenth time) and cry/laugh/smile like you’ve never seen it before.

Works for me, every time.


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